Knowing God, Knowing Self: A Journey of Connection
Andrea Lahoud, MA, LMHC
At the core of our wellbeing is our connection with God.
Everything flows out of this sacred relationship, our sense of peace, our purpose, and even the way we relate to others. Yet often, the depth of this connection depends on whether we are willing to also know ourselves.
Christian psychologist David Benner once wrote, “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God.” (The Gift of Being Yourself, p.20).
When we ignore who we are, our wounds, our hopes, our struggles, and even the parts of ourselves we’d rather hide, we also ignore the places where God longs to meet us.
Knowing about vs. Knowing of
There’s a difference between knowing about God and knowing of God.
Knowing about God comes through information: reading Scripture, studying theology, or memorizing verses. These are good and important practices.
Knowing of God, however, comes through experience: the quiet prayer where His presence brings peace, the moment of grace after confession, the tears that remind us we are not alone.
One can fill the mind with knowledge about God and yet never truly encounter Him in the intimate spaces of daily life.
Obstacles in Knowing God
If knowing God is so vital, why does it feel so challenging? Common barriers include:
Time and busyness (not prioritizing time to seek God)
Fear of vulnerability (fear of God’s judgment)
Culture and distractions
Bad habits like staying up too late
False teachings or distorted views about God
Unconfessed sin
Guilt and shame (guilt says I did something bad; shame says I am bad)
Pride and selfishness (the mentality that you can do it all by yourself)
These keep us from slowing down, opening our hearts, and experiencing God’s presence in a personal way.
Obstacles in Knowing Self
Just as there are challenges in knowing God, there are also barriers to truly knowing ourselves. Neglecting this part of the spiritual journey means missing opportunities for God’s healing and transformation.
Barriers may include:
Time (rarely stopping to reflect inwardly)
Fear of vulnerability (fear of what we’ll find)
Neglecting ourselves (dismissing our own needs)
Unhealthy behaviors
Guilt and shame (guilt says I did something bad; shame says I am bad)
Toxic environments
Feeling detached from our emotions or body
Complacency (choosing comfort over growth)
Pride (avoiding humility and honesty)
Avoiding connection with ourselves and others
Psalm 139:23-24 offers a beautiful prayer for this process: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Therapy as a Space for Self‑Discovery
Therapy can be a powerful and grace‑filled tool — a safe, compassionate space to explore the parts of ourselves we often ignore: the pain, the patterns, the longings, and even the gifts we haven’t yet named.
Through therapy, we can:
Slow down and make time for reflection
Face vulnerability without fear
Untangle shame and guilt with honesty and grace
Recognize patterns that keep us from growth
Discover healthier ways of caring for ourselves and relating to others
Therapy is not about replacing God, it’s about creating space for deeper self‑awareness so we can meet Him more authentically. Many find that as they know themselves better, they also feel freer to experience God’s love more deeply.
Returning to Both God and Ourselves
Christian spirituality is not just about knowing God through ideas, it’s about welcoming Him into the lived reality of our journey. That requires us to know ourselves honestly and compassionately.
When we bring our whole selves before Him, the strong, the weak, the messy, the beautiful — we make space for His healing and presence.
As Benner reminds us in The Gift of Being Yourself, self‑knowledge and God‑knowledge are not separate pursuits. They are two sides of the same journey.
To know God is to see ourselves more clearly in His light.
To know ourselves is to realize how deeply we need — and are loved by — God.
✨ Reflection Question:
Where in your life do you find yourself “knowing about” God more than “knowing of” Him? And where might you be avoiding knowing yourself? This week, consider one way you can invite God — and perhaps a trusted therapist — into both.
